Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Interview

It's no secret that I don't like having my picture taken. I've tried to be more tolerant of it because there are nearly whole decades that have gone undocumented in my past. What is a secret is that I've always wanted to have my picture taken by a top photographer. I want Annie Leibowitz to take a grainy, b&w, close up for the cover of Rolling Stone. The great photographers even have a way of making coked out rock stars look good. I wonder what they'd make me look like?

To go along with the photo I'd have to be interviewed so I attempted to interview myself for practice. It didn't go very well. You can read it for yourself below:

Mike: Sorry I'm late. There was this traffic thing.
Mike: You didn't even have to get in the car to come here.
Mike: I guess this is one interview where I can't lie. Truth is I'm a procrastinator.
Mike: OK then do you want to get started?
Mike: Do you have anything to drink first? I could use a Pepsi Vanilla or an IBC Cream Soda. Or a snack. I ate but didn't have dessert. Do you have anything sweet? Are you recording me with that thing?
Mike: Do you have a problem with that? I usually record the interview and then transcribe it afterwards.
Mike: I guess not. I just hate the way my voice sounds when it's recorded. Be sure to destroy the tape when you're done transcribing it. I don't want to see that thing for sale on e-bay.
Mike: Do you really think anyone would buy it?
Mike: Can we just get this thing started?
Mike: Your call. What made you decide to start a blog?
Mike: I have a really bad memory and thought that taking notes would help jog it in the future.
Mike: But why something so public? Why not keep a journal?
Mike: I'm not someone who loves the limelight but having a small audience seems to make it more likely I would keep up with it. It's also a good way to keep in touch. A blog is better than sending out random topic e-mail blasts to all my friends. This way if they are interested in what's going on in my life they can check in when it's convenient for them.
Mike: What is going on in your life right now?
Mike: The biggest thing is that my wife and I are expecting our first child. We're super excited. Neither of us had ever tried to conceive before so we didn't know if it would be difficult or not. Luckily we got it on the first try.
Mike: How does your family feel about the upcoming baby?
Mike: My parents could not be more excited. My younger brother and his wife are expecting their 2nd child in July so my parents are going from 1 grandkid in 2004 to 3 in 2005. Pretty good year for them.
Mike: And you wife's family?
Mike: Well she's the youngest of 4 and all of her siblings have 2 children each so they're all thrilled that she's finally getting started. All her nieces and nephews are happy to have another cousin too. Her Mom has always said that she had 4 children and wants to have 8 grandchildren. Ours will be #7 so she's on the way to her goal.
Mike: What else is going on? How's the new career? Your a rehabber right?
Mike: That's right. Things are going great. When I came to St. Louis 3 and a half years ago I didn't have a background in construction so I was really starting with less than nothing. I'm continuing to learn new things everyday. Lately I'm learning that I want to be a real estate developer instead of a rehabber. It's hard on your body doing all of the physical labor. I'm getting too old for this.
Mike: How old are you? 40?
Mike: Very funny. You know how old I am.
Mike: So how does one become a developer?
Mike: It's mostly just a matter of finances. Currently I save a lot of money by doing as much of the work myself as I can. As a developer I'd still find the project and take care of things with the bank and come up with plans, but I'd hire others to carry my plan out. Hopefully I'll make enough money selling my current project to finance my next one and be on my way towards being a real estate developer.
Mike: Do you have any free time these days?
Mike: Yeah, I'm loving my free time right now. I know it's not going to last. Not once the baby comes.
Mike: So you aren't looking forward to the baby coming?
Mike: You're lucky I don't knock your lights out for saying that. This baby will be the most important thing that will ever happen to me. I'm just saying that I'm enjoying my current lifestyle before my new and improved life begins.
Mike: I understand. So what kind of exciting, spur of the moment things are you and your wife doing while you're awaiting the new baby's arrival?
Mike: Mostly watching tv. We watch a lot of tv. Jen didn't even have a tv when I met her. She owned one and a little vcr but she only pulled it out once in awhile to watch a Woody Allen movie.
Mike: So you corrupted her?
Mike: I'd feel worse if she didn't love it so much too.
Mike: What kind of shows do you watch?
Mike: We watch a lot of reality tv.
Mike: Like the Anna Nicole Show and Growing Up Gotti?
Mike: Those shows bring the whole genre down. We watch the Mark Burnett shows like Survivor, The Contender and Amazing Race and we keep up with American Idol and some others. Lately we've been watching Supenanny and Nanny 911 like it's our homework. We don't want to raise one of those monsters.
Mike: So reality tv is your guilty pleasure?
Mike: No, truthfully we have guilty pleasures within the genre. I really like makeover shows. I like to see progress being made in an hour. I'm also embarrassed to say that I look forward to America's Next Top Model. It's a well crafted show. It's flawed though because the winner doesn't really become America's next top model. That's why I'm looking forward to the show later this year where they pick the next cast member for Saturday Night Live. That's a really great prize to win and we can watch that person develop over time.
Mike: Do you watch any script based programs?
Mike: We used to watch 24 on dvd but we're actually following along as it airs this season. I'm also looking forward to the American version of The Office. It looks like they did a good job of casting it to make it believable. They didn't cast David Spade as the assistant to the regional manager or anything.
Mike: So that's how you spend your free time?
Mike: Not all of it. I have this blog don't I? I also spend a lot of time listening to and researching music on-line and in magazines. I collect silk screened rock posters. I do a lot of things. I was just trying to give you a snippet of what my life is like. I didn't want this thing to go on too long and get boring.
Mike: I'm afraid it's a bit late for that. Is there anything you wanted to add before we wrap this up?
Mike: Yeah, apparently it is incredibly easy to call yourself a journalist and interview people these days.
Mike: Well it looks like just about any jackass can get interviewed.
Mike: I think it's time I leave before I do something I'll regret.
Mike: That's the most intelligent thing you've said all day.
Mike: Can I still get that cream soda?


Jen, the wife said...

Where can I get those transcripts? I'd pay list price. Here's your cream soda, hurry, our show is starting.

It's Lisa, y'all! said...

I am punking out Les: He also loves to watch the Top Model reality show!

I am punking out myself: My favorite show is Charmed. LOVE IT!

It's Lisa, y'all said...

I also wanted to say that I'm glad you posted an interview with Mike Glodeck. When I am bored, I am constantly interviewing myself in my head, sometimes even accidentally answering the questions out loud (embarrassing). When I was 10-11-12, I used to spend what seemed like hours in front of the mirror in the bathroom, my towel a gorgeous head of long hair or an elegant evening gown with a big slit up the side, and do fake interviews. Where were my parents? Did they notice I was in the bathroom that long, talking to myself? Did they think it was cute or were they oblivious entirely?

My self-interviewer has always been very indulgent of my big-headed interviewee self, allowing me to go on and on about my fame, my plans for the future, my secrets to success with no end in sight.

Sometimes Les tells me that I have a completely different reality than anyone else. I retort that it's a pretty nice reality and I like it that way! They don't call me "Lalaland" for nothing.