It is nice to be loved

My wife left this note for me while she was in Vegas for a work conference. It was sitting on the armchair of the couch underneath the remote control where she was sure I would be sitting that very evening. Yes I do know how lucky I am!

The Interview

It's no secret that I don't like having my picture taken. I've tried to be more tolerant of it because there are nearly whole decades that have gone undocumented in my past. What is a secret is that I've always wanted to have my picture taken by a top photographer. I want Annie Leibowitz to take a grainy, b&w, close up for the cover of Rolling Stone. The great photographers even have a way of making coked out rock stars look good. I wonder what they'd make me look like?

To go along with the photo I'd have to be interviewed so I attempted to interview myself for practice. It didn't go very well. You can read it for yourself below:

Mike: Sorry I'm late. There was this traffic thing.
Mike: You didn't even have to get in the car to come here.
Mike: I guess this is one interview where I can't lie. Truth is I'm a procrastinator.
Mike: OK then do you want to get started?
Mike: Do you have anything to drink first? I could use a Pepsi Vanilla or an IBC Cream Soda. Or a snack. I ate but didn't have dessert. Do you have anything sweet? Are you recording me with that thing?
Mike: Do you have a problem with that? I usually record the interview and then transcribe it afterwards.
Mike: I guess not. I just hate the way my voice sounds when it's recorded. Be sure to destroy the tape when you're done transcribing it. I don't want to see that thing for sale on e-bay.
Mike: Do you really think anyone would buy it?
Mike: Can we just get this thing started?
Mike: Your call. What made you decide to start a blog?
Mike: I have a really bad memory and thought that taking notes would help jog it in the future.
Mike: But why something so public? Why not keep a journal?
Mike: I'm not someone who loves the limelight but having a small audience seems to make it more likely I would keep up with it. It's also a good way to keep in touch. A blog is better than sending out random topic e-mail blasts to all my friends. This way if they are interested in what's going on in my life they can check in when it's convenient for them.
Mike: What is going on in your life right now?
Mike: The biggest thing is that my wife and I are expecting our first child. We're super excited. Neither of us had ever tried to conceive before so we didn't know if it would be difficult or not. Luckily we got it on the first try.
Mike: How does your family feel about the upcoming baby?
Mike: My parents could not be more excited. My younger brother and his wife are expecting their 2nd child in July so my parents are going from 1 grandkid in 2004 to 3 in 2005. Pretty good year for them.
Mike: And you wife's family?
Mike: Well she's the youngest of 4 and all of her siblings have 2 children each so they're all thrilled that she's finally getting started. All her nieces and nephews are happy to have another cousin too. Her Mom has always said that she had 4 children and wants to have 8 grandchildren. Ours will be #7 so she's on the way to her goal.
Mike: What else is going on? How's the new career? Your a rehabber right?
Mike: That's right. Things are going great. When I came to St. Louis 3 and a half years ago I didn't have a background in construction so I was really starting with less than nothing. I'm continuing to learn new things everyday. Lately I'm learning that I want to be a real estate developer instead of a rehabber. It's hard on your body doing all of the physical labor. I'm getting too old for this.
Mike: How old are you? 40?
Mike: Very funny. You know how old I am.
Mike: So how does one become a developer?
Mike: It's mostly just a matter of finances. Currently I save a lot of money by doing as much of the work myself as I can. As a developer I'd still find the project and take care of things with the bank and come up with plans, but I'd hire others to carry my plan out. Hopefully I'll make enough money selling my current project to finance my next one and be on my way towards being a real estate developer.
Mike: Do you have any free time these days?
Mike: Yeah, I'm loving my free time right now. I know it's not going to last. Not once the baby comes.
Mike: So you aren't looking forward to the baby coming?
Mike: You're lucky I don't knock your lights out for saying that. This baby will be the most important thing that will ever happen to me. I'm just saying that I'm enjoying my current lifestyle before my new and improved life begins.
Mike: I understand. So what kind of exciting, spur of the moment things are you and your wife doing while you're awaiting the new baby's arrival?
Mike: Mostly watching tv. We watch a lot of tv. Jen didn't even have a tv when I met her. She owned one and a little vcr but she only pulled it out once in awhile to watch a Woody Allen movie.
Mike: So you corrupted her?
Mike: I'd feel worse if she didn't love it so much too.
Mike: What kind of shows do you watch?
Mike: We watch a lot of reality tv.
Mike: Like the Anna Nicole Show and Growing Up Gotti?
Mike: Those shows bring the whole genre down. We watch the Mark Burnett shows like Survivor, The Contender and Amazing Race and we keep up with American Idol and some others. Lately we've been watching Supenanny and Nanny 911 like it's our homework. We don't want to raise one of those monsters.
Mike: So reality tv is your guilty pleasure?
Mike: No, truthfully we have guilty pleasures within the genre. I really like makeover shows. I like to see progress being made in an hour. I'm also embarrassed to say that I look forward to America's Next Top Model. It's a well crafted show. It's flawed though because the winner doesn't really become America's next top model. That's why I'm looking forward to the show later this year where they pick the next cast member for Saturday Night Live. That's a really great prize to win and we can watch that person develop over time.
Mike: Do you watch any script based programs?
Mike: We used to watch 24 on dvd but we're actually following along as it airs this season. I'm also looking forward to the American version of The Office. It looks like they did a good job of casting it to make it believable. They didn't cast David Spade as the assistant to the regional manager or anything.
Mike: So that's how you spend your free time?
Mike: Not all of it. I have this blog don't I? I also spend a lot of time listening to and researching music on-line and in magazines. I collect silk screened rock posters. I do a lot of things. I was just trying to give you a snippet of what my life is like. I didn't want this thing to go on too long and get boring.
Mike: I'm afraid it's a bit late for that. Is there anything you wanted to add before we wrap this up?
Mike: Yeah, apparently it is incredibly easy to call yourself a journalist and interview people these days.
Mike: Well it looks like just about any jackass can get interviewed.
Mike: I think it's time I leave before I do something I'll regret.
Mike: That's the most intelligent thing you've said all day.
Mike: Can I still get that cream soda?

Magazines

Magazines: I have 2 problems with magazines. 1) I like too many of them and buy multiples constantly. 2) I don't love any of them and cannot find the one that really appeals to me. I'd like to find a men's magazine without bikini babes on the cover (Maxim) or guys with rock hard abs (Men's Health). Most of the magazines are filled with articles about very expensive 007 gadgets (all tech magazines), how to get super abs in 7 days (Men's Fitness) and ultimate sports cars (Car and Driver). What I'd like to find is a magazine like the women's magazine Bust. It's a non glossy mag with an interesting, non-judgemental, inclusive perspective that covers a wide array of topics. I want a magazine that covers the music and movies that I'd be interested in without devoting a lot of space to video gaming or what fashion experts recommend for Wall Street tycoons (GQ). Give me a magazine that is cool but not so hip as to make me feel like a loser. Give me a magazine that matches my lifestyle. Is that too much to ask? Can you make that happen for me?

Here's a theoretical table of contents:
p 11 How to get motivated to finally finish that project you started ages ago
p 17 Really great shoes available at your local mall that you can afford
p 23 Great bands you haven't heard of that are just like all of the other bands you love
p 30 Super cool movies coming to your town and NOT just NY and LA
p 47 Electronic gadgets that will not only change your life but you can afford
p 53 Babes we love (these would just be different babes than FHM, etc.)
p 61 How to get a 2nd date even though your first impression was terrible
p 67 Ways to offload all your work and still make friends and get promoted
p 72 The right way to tie bandanas with Wille Nelson
p 77 Careers that take no prior knowledge, pay well and nobody else will think of

Falling in love with a building

Vacant and underutilized buildings near the Saint Louis University campus.

This building has my name written all over it.

Rehab: I spend a good amount of time exploring neighborhoods and business districts in St. Louis looking for the next boom area and my next project. From time to time I come across a building that just needs to belong to me. The above building is boarded up and full of junk and needs to be turned into a coffee house for the students at SLU. It has 2 different sides on the first floor that could be used for a coffee house on one side and an acoustic music venue on the other. From what I understand this building is very near the projected Biotech district along Forest Park Parkway. That could make this building very expensive given it's proximity. The 2 upper floors could be offices or apartments which would then subsidize the mortgage payments. Seems like a workable deal.

Music: Brendan Benson's The Alternative to Love came out today. I picked it up this morning and have been listening to it all day. Recently I've been listening to Low's The Great Destroyer, Bright Eyes I'm Wide Awake, it's Morning and Keane's Hopes and Fears. Lot's of good stuff out right now. It'll take me some time to sort through it all and see what is good ear candy now and what the classics will be. I haven't been a big fan of Low but am enjoying this album quite a bit. I've been wanting to put together a theme album of songs about California and they have a song called California which fits in nicely. I didn't think I'd like Keane much. It's a little smoother and sort of wimpier than what I like. I don't listen to macho music at all but just music that's a little more raw and underproduced than Keane. I find that it's a really listenable album though. The kind that I can put on and play repeatedly and it just sets a nice tone for the room. Not exactly like background music, more like mood music for regular days.

Baby: Jen is in Vegas at a work conference this week with most of her co-workers and still hasn't told any of them about being pregnant. It's getting harder to not tell her friend Shelly who is also expecting. She called last night to say that one of her co-workers may suspect. He picked up her drink and sniffed it. It was a Sprite with a slice of lime which looks like her usual drink of vodka and tonic. I think he's on to her.

We're still up in the air about finding out the sex of the baby. We'd like to wait and be surprised, but don't know if we can. My Mom says it'll be a surprise when we find out from the doctor. My Mom isn't known for being patient.

Hair thickening shampoo can keep you from going bald!

Bald: I've seen these ads around town and thought they were for the Final Four in April. It took my wife to point out to me that they are both mocking bald men and making ridiculous claims that their shampoo will keep you from going bald. It's not as blatant a statement as some have made but it is saying that BALD is BAD! Baldness is a hereditary trait and freaking out about it, spending a small fortune on medication, surgery or a hairpiece won't change the fact that you will go bald if it's in the cards for you. Hey Madison Avenue stop making people feel bad about something they can't control. I'd like to see a campaign for skin bleach that turns African Americans into Caucasians. "It'll take away all your problems. Just use new Skin So White!" Puh-lease. I may have to spearhead a boycott. People have no control over their skin color, sexual preference or hairline. Deal with it.

Baby: Apparently Ashton and Demi are also expecting in October. I hope that doesn't take away from the media exposure we were expecting.

KDHX as a Metaphor

Music: So tonight I blew off the Devil in a Woodpile show at Off Broadway. I wanted to see them, but didn't have anyone to go with me on a Wednesday night. Not only would Jen not enjoy the music much, but it is not an atmosphere a pregnant woman should be subjected to. I feel the same regret now that I did when Vic Chesnutt came to the Duck Room at Blueberry Hill a couple of months ago and I blew that off. I love Vic and haven't seen him for years and still couldn't get off my lazy ass. I went to see Vic at McCabe's in LA in 1993 all by myself. McCabe's is a guitar shop that has a stage in the back. There were probably 60 people there but it felt like half that. Michael Stipe was there. I got an autographed poster from Vic at the end of the night and walked away without saying a word for fear of saying something embarrassing. I could see him throw his hands up in the air out of the corner of my eye. I think I surprised him by walking away so abruptly. In the latest issue of No Depression with Vic on the cover he talks about the McCabe's shows. It seems that a bunch of influential people (Van Dyke Parks, Victoria Williams, Allen Ginsberg) were at those shows and getting into Vic at that time.

Getting back to the reason I have so much regret about missing a show is that St. Louis is a horrible city for live shows. I can't believe the number of acts that blow off this city. They go from Columbia to Columbus or from Chicago to Memphis and don't make a stop here. I don't know if there isn't the right venue or there isn't the right kind of music fan. I think lack of good radio may have something to do with it. I love KDHX as a public station, but they seem to have quite a few programs that delve deep into catalog roots recordings and not enough that play the music coming out right now. Maybe that's some sort of metaphor for this city with such a rich history. Do we live too much in the past? I guess I'm spoiled being from Detroit (that's right, spoiled). EVERY band plays in Detroit. I had to drive to Chicago last October to see the Pixies and they played 5 nights in Chicago. They couldn't do one night at the Pageant!? St. Louisans should be outraged. I guess you can't miss what you never had.

The Spoilers

Baby: We went to see the OBGYN together for the first time this morning. She is really cool. Her heels and pearls kind of threw me off at first. 8:30am is a little early to be dressed like that, but I liked her a lot. There wasn't much to do but confirm that we are in fact expecting. When we were leaving she asked if we wanted to see the baby on the ultrasound. Her next patients hadn't arrived and the ultrasound room was empty. Jen is only 9 weeks along and they don't usually do that until like 12 weeks. We said "Sure!". It was crazy. I've only seen ultrasounds on tv or screen captures and could never tell what they were actually pictures of. When you see one in person though it's much easier. There is only one thing on screen moving and that's your BABY. We could see the heart beating, and the doctor pointed out little limb nubs that will turn into arms and legs and she pointed out eye sockets and a nasal bone. She pointed to a part and said to picture a little skeletal face here. That kind of freaked me out. A baby skeleton face sounds like a nightmare. Like some Casper the friendly skeleton. It was a really special thing to experience though. To see a heart beating was very emotional. It was very reassuring to hear that everything is going as planned and that we aren't expecting multiples or anything. That's a headache I would not be prepared for at this time.

Music: I occasionally think of band names that I would use if I could. Some pairing of words that just sounds right. Any time that I spend thinking about this is wasted time. I'm 36 and don't play an instrument or sing. It's ridiculous for me to make mental notes of future band names. Anyway I thought of the name The Spoilers. In sports a spoiler is a team that has nothing to win but dignity and nothing to lose but pride and they usually win in the end using grit and determination. I like that idea. A bunch of losers taking down the big guys with nothing in particular to gain.

In media a spoiler is when someone gives you information that could ruin a surprise ending. They'll hopefully put SPOILER ALERT before they give you that information. I've never been able to look away when I see spoiler alert. My eye is drawn to it. Maybe if we find out the sex of our baby I'll put in SPOILER ALERT and you see if you can look away. Now I just have to decide if it will be "the Spoilers" or just "Spoilers". Good thing I have some time to decide.

Removal of rear staircase

Going

Going

The back staircase is gone.

Alternative to Love

Music: Could I be any more excited about the new Brendan Benson album? Alternative to Love comes out March 22nd. The song "Alternative to Love" first appeared on the Metarie single. Brendan must have liked it more than he originally thought to rerecord it and make it the title track to his new album. The only other album I may be anticipating more in 2005 is the Jack White/Brendan Benson album they've been working on slowly over the past year. While I'm waiting I'm going to keep on listening to Ben Kweller On My Way and hope that time flies. Also on March 22nd the new Vic Chesnutt album and the Gram Parsons tribute DVD are being released.

Baby: We have our first visit to the baby doc on Thursday. I believe we get an ultrasound done at that time. I think it'll feel more real after that. I'm pretty nervous.

Rehab: I'm getting very tired of demolition. I am 97% done, but the last 3% seems to drag on forever. Gutting the bathrooms is particularly frustrating. They are small rooms with little space to move around and have a cast iron tub in the middle of them that I am unable to move myself.

Sealing away the elements

Rehab: A new roof is going on my latest project today! The old roof has been removed and the decking is in better shape than anyone thought. Just the back portion of the roof where all the water has been pouring in is in bad shape. This is good timing. Monday I met with my carpenter friend, Steve, about doing my framing. It's not the kind of work that he loves to do but he has been very agreeable about doing it for me. I didn't want to start putting new material in the place until the place was sealed up from the elements though.

Urban Husbandry: I've been doing a lot of reading about urban planning and city renewal. It started when I finally broke down and picked up a copy of The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs. Since then my reading list has included The Living City and Cities Back from the Edge both by Roberta Brandes Gratz and Comeback Cities by Paul S. Grogan and Tony Proscio. I hope to one day be able to put this knowledge to use. I'd love to become a developer that has influence on an area. I've got some locations in mind and some plans sketched out but it remains a pipe dream. At least for now.

Bald Men Unite

Bald: I started clipping my hair in a close cropped fashion 10 years ago. I started shaving it completely around 3 or 4 years ago. My wife has never known me with anything but stubble and has never given it much thought. With me in her life however she has started to notice the constant badmouthing bald men get. People are always giving hypothetical descriptions of undesirable men as "fat and balding". It is like a generic slam that seems to go unchallenged in much the same way people take it for granted that Polish people are stupid (I also am 50% Polish and am sensitive to that as well).

I am hyper sensitive especially towards bald men in the media. When a bald guy has to don a rug to play a role it makes you wonder...why couldn't that character just be bald? What makes it so important that he has an obviously fake hairline. To do my part I'd like to occasionally point out my favorite and least favorite bald guys in the media.
In order to be a favorite you must be proud of your baldness. That can include making absolutely no mention of it but just appearing bald in public. In order to be a least favorite bald guy you have to be bald and always try to hide it either by wearing a toupe or trying to deny it in some way. The rules are flexible in that someone can appear on both lists. Bruce Willis can make the favorite list for Unbreakable and make the least favorite list for The Whole Ten Yards.

Current Favorite Bald Guy: David Cross - Stand up comic and comedic actor David Cross rarely hides his baldness with the exception of wearing ridiculous wigs for comedic effect. He is as cool as he is funny and I like his politics.
Current Least Favorite Bald Guy: Vin Diesel - Vin is a surprise winner because he almost always appears in public bald. He never hides it with hats or anything. Recently though it has been brought to my attention that he doesn't talk about his hair situation. It is a topic that is off limits. Who does he think he's fooling? I also saw a preview of his new movie Find Me Guilty and he wears a horrible looking hairpiece that may be enough to put him on the wrong side of this list forever. He asked for it so I will Find Him Guilty!

The Cool Meter

Baby: I'm not particularly cool. I wasn't a cool kid. I think I manage to stay current and slightly hipper than most men my age. That is to say that on the cool meter (the cool meter goes from 1-10 and is graded on a curve so you are only compared to people of the same sex in your age group, in case you didn't know. I have to remember to write that book called The Cool Meter so I don't have to explain it every time.) I was about a 5 as a 21 year old, but with so many men dropping off the meter altogether I am now a 7 as a 36 year old. I avoid most of the aging hipster cliches while staying current on denim trends, headware and t-shirt designs. I don't wear giant sports jerseys, pegged jeans or dirty white tennis shoes. Is the baby going to change all that? Will I care? I know the baby will be the most important thing in my life, but how much of my current life will still exist? A lot of men around my age have become frozen in fashion time. You see them wearing clothes that were cool 10 years ago when they stopped caring about what they looked like. Will I still find time to read the many, many magazines I scour to learn about good music? People with children always complain about how they don't get to the movies anymore. Will I still go? Will I only have time for the blockbusters or will I still get to see the independant stuff? Will I finally join Netflix and see them after everyone else has in the privacy of my own home? These things will be determined in time. For now I just can't wait to see the face of my very own child.

the cat's out of the bag

Baby: My parents were in town over the weekend to help with my latest rehab project. We had them and my in-laws over for dinner on Saturday night. Between the entree and dessert we dropped the bomb about the baby. They were thrilled as expected. My Dad shed a tear and my Mom wanted to go buy baby things for us right away. It made for a memorable meal.

We talked a lot about baby names after they found out. I have dozens that I like for a little girl and none that I like for a boy. Jen likes Nathan, Oscar and Allen or Alan. She loves both Woody Allen and Alan Alda. I have baggage with so many boy names and don't want to burdan my son with a heavy moniker. I think the girl names in the lead are Sofia (Sophia) and Emily. I had a great Aunt named Emily but everyone called her Milch. It's such a horrible nickname that we think it's funny. My Dad could call her baby Milchie.

Music: 2005 is getting off to a good start as far as music releases go. There are several things that have come out in the last couple of months that I'm really enjoying. [Cake - Pressure Thief, Andrew Bird - And the Mysterious Production of Eggs, Josh Rouse - Nashville] I hope the rest of the year can stay as strong. It's time for the industry to swing back away from Hip Hop and bad R&B and back towards musician inspired pop and rock. Viva la Revolution!

Rehab: Got a lot done on the house over the weekend. My Dad and I removed the cast iron plumbing stack. My Mom pulled up the subfloor and vinyl floor in the downstairs kitchen only to find more vinyl stuck directly to the pine floor. I think that means we'll tile the kitchen. My Dad and Mom both pulled all of the nails out of all the trim so that it can be reused. And we finished gutting the front parlor/living room.

I also got an estimate from my HVAC guy on Friday. It's high but reasonable and I'm asking him to do quite a bit of work. I'm still looking for a rough carpenter to frame out some walls and haven't decided on a plumber or electrician but I am making progress. The new roof should go on this week and take care of the waterfall on the back wall of the house.

Pressure Point

Rehab: I've attended a few conferences, several classes and meetings about preserving the city of St. Louis. When I say preserving I am referring to both the buildings and quality of life. I've decided that people in St. Louis need to get out more. Maybe I can arrange a giant field trip. STL has a lot of things going for it, but longtime residents, and I don't believe this is unique to STL, tend to see the negative or see slow progress as no progress. I've lived in STL for 3.5 years now and the city that I know has changed drastically in that time for the better. I hear call into radio show listeners prefacing their statements by saying "I realize that Saint Louis is one of the most segregated cities in America, but..." Are you crazy. You know how segregation works in many cities? Blacks in the city and whites in the county. We could use a little more crossover between north and south city, but things are not as desperate as some would have you believe. We need to continue making progress there is no doubt. There is a solid base to work from, however, thanks to the good residents of the city of Saint Louis, MO.

Now if the city would just stop knocking down the buildings to make parking garages we'd really have something!

Music: That woman that plays sax for The Zutons is one crazy dancer! Saw her on Conan O'Brien. I'm a little worried about her stability. Awoo Hoo Hoo.

Baby: Jen's belly is getting a little pooched out. The baby is like the size of a grain of rice right now so it isn't that it's getting that big. Apparently the poochiness is due to the fact that her uterus is just preparing itself to grow. I've got to start taking pictures. Then we can do a flip book after it's all over. ; )

For Valentines Day I bought Jen a little baby outfit that has a tattoo heart on the front that says MOM. Our baby will look like a little longshoreman, but I'll love it anyway.

Malcolm Gladwell

Baby: I just got back from listening to Malcolm Gladwell speak about his book Blink on the campus of SLU. I've really enjoyed both Blink and The Tipping Point. After reading the books you can actually see everyday things in a different light. That's pretty powerful. I went to the event by myself because Jen had made a date to hang out with 2 of her nieces this evening. She's really good that way. After the BABY comes we'll have less time to do things like we did this evening. Our entire world will change. But only temporarily. Just for the next 20 or so years.

Music: While Malcolm was speaking I was wondering what kind of music he likes. He's a little older than me, he's Canadian, but he lives in NY and was wearing a track jacket to a public speaking engagement. I think he likes music that is more electronic than what I listen to. Probably some British stuff like The Streets. I don't wonder what kind of music everyone likes. Most people I could care less that they are a huge fan of 3 Doors Down or Evanescence. But some people are harder to figure out. I know I'm pretty snobby about music but there are people who like a totally different kind of music than me that I still really respect. I guess it would have to be different but even more obscure than what I like for me to respect them. If you are the world's foremost collector of North Korean electronic folk music recorded over Russian made telephones then more power to you. Just don't expect me to like it too.

Rehab: Tweaked my back today. This is the first injury sustained on this project. I'm sleeping on a heating pad tonight and hoping it doesn't slow me down. The back staircase has been removed. I was going to just take down the walls but I went hog wild and pulled it all down. [Sorry Mom and Dad. They'll be plenty of other "fun" projects for you.] Now the room at the top and bottom of where the stairs used to be are square. It's much easier to look at a square room and get an idea of what you can do with it. I've decided to put a laundry room downstairs off the kitchen with a chute going from the master bath to the laundry room. I was going to put the laundry facilities in the basement but it's not a very pleasant basement and I have the room.

A possible heating and cooling guy might be coming by tomorrow. I have a lot of questions for him. On the phone he sounded exactly like the kind of contractor I'm looking for. Now I just need to settle on a plumber and electrician just like him.

Blogging: I was looking around Blogger and noticed that a lot of the people are Libra's. I'm a Libra so they certainly stand out but I did see more than any other sign. I wonder if that says something about Libras. I also noticed a lot of people that made 2 entries over a year ago and have never come back. This is my 3rd entry so I hope that I have gotten over some kind of hurdle. Peace out girl scout.

When I grow up I want a baby

Baby: Are we going to have a baby? There are no visible signs. Maybe I dreampt it. I'll have to call Jen and see if we really are expecting.

Yep, she confirmed it. She's pregnant. Holy carp! (I can't say crap I'm going to be a father.)

Music: "When I grow up I want a baby. I'm gonna name it after Ralph Stanley. And I sure won't mind if it cries all night. Just as long as it looks like me." - from Kasey Chambers song Pony from her album Wayward Angel

Rehab: Decided last night to take out the rear staircase. I kept the rear staircase in our house and love it, but I was able to open it up to the second floor. This one is different. I'll probably remove the walls around it today and leave the stairs for my parents to take out. They're coming to visit in a couple of weeks and want to work on the house. Boy do they have a surprise in store for them when they get here! Removing the back staircase! Oh yeah and finding out that they'll have a new grandbaby in Rocktober.

We're having a baby...and nobody knows it yet.

I haven't really read any blogs before but I think this will work best if I keep it short but do many postings rather than just a few lenghthy ones.

Baby: We're having a baby. Nobody knows and the secret is eating me alive. It's not a total surprise. It was an intentional act, but I didn't know it would WORK?! I'm going to be a Father!! Exclamation points don't really do that sentence justice. They need an atomic bomb icon to follow that sentence to convey the enormity of it.

We're not kids. We are both in our mid-30's, but that doesn't really mean that we are more prepared. Am I going to be like the parents on "Supernanny" that fail miserably in every way even with the best of intentions? Man I have a lot of worrying to do in the next 30 years. I hope I can fit it all in.

Music: Stacy F. turned me onto the library as a source of free books and music. Don't know why I hadn't thought of it. There is a beautiful one right down the street. You can go online and have stuff transferred there from all over the city. I just read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell and am listening to Begger's Banquet and Goat's Head Soup by the Rolling Stones and they didn't cost me a thing! OK, well technically taxes helped pay for it.

Rehab: I'm doing demo. Heading into my 3rd month of demo. Doing it all by my lonesome. Hauling 2 buckets of plaster at a time out to the dumpster. I'm on my 4th dumpster. I really do enjoy this kind of stuff. I'm my own boss. I do all of the planning, labor and marketing of my work. But sometime into your 3rd month of demolition it starts to get a little old. And I've got a baby to start planning for!